Phrases like "game of two halves" and "at the end of the day" are all too commonly used. Are there any funny ones which you can think of that you may be so kind as to contribute?
Favourite Footballing Terms
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AustrianAndyGull
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Favourite Footballing Terms
Football is a funny old game isn't it? Funnier still are the plethora of slang, alternative words and phrases and also catchphrases trotted out by pundits, players, fans and commentators alike. Words such as 'THE STIFFS' to describe the reserves or 'BACK STICK' to describe the far post. Also where else other than whilst shooting pheasants would you mutter the word brace and where else would you get a 'hat-trick'?
Phrases like "game of two halves" and "at the end of the day" are all too commonly used. Are there any funny ones which you can think of that you may be so kind as to contribute?
Phrases like "game of two halves" and "at the end of the day" are all too commonly used. Are there any funny ones which you can think of that you may be so kind as to contribute?
Strangely enough it was Pope Gregory the 9th inviting me for drinks aboard his steam yacht, the saucy sue currently wintering in montego bay with the England cricket team and the Balanese Goddess of plenty.
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GazTheGull
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chunkygull
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when commentators and pundits started using the term stonewall as in "that is/was a stonewall penalty", it was found out that stonewall is a word that does not exist. the only form it actually exists in is that its the name of a charity organisation that works for equality and justice for lesbians, gay men and bisexuals.
did you know that alan hansen?
the latest one that gets on my nerves is "worldy" as in he's hit a "worldy" or the keepers pulled out a "worldy".
have you ever heard brendan rodgers try and say it. =D
dont like the terms - holding midfielder/defensive midfielder. in fact i hate that.
or, his jobs to protect the back four - load of b0ll0cks
sick as a parrot - never seen a parrot spew up.
over the moon - really!
game of 2 halves - well, yes! bleedin' obvious.
aaaaassshhhllllleeeyyy cole is a w@nker is a w@nker!
steven gerrards favourite - eeeerrrmm.
most often used as a torquay fan - we were robbed.
goals win games - NO! :-o
It's a six-pointer - uh, no its not.
couldnt trap a bag of cement - had a few players that ones used for.
couldnt hit a barn door - and this one.
couldnt hit a cows arse with a banjo - and this one.
havent gelled yet - i get fed up hearing that one.
they're not playing to their full potential - they're shit, thats why.
playing in the hole - =D
did you know that alan hansen?
the latest one that gets on my nerves is "worldy" as in he's hit a "worldy" or the keepers pulled out a "worldy".
have you ever heard brendan rodgers try and say it. =D
dont like the terms - holding midfielder/defensive midfielder. in fact i hate that.
or, his jobs to protect the back four - load of b0ll0cks
sick as a parrot - never seen a parrot spew up.
over the moon - really!
game of 2 halves - well, yes! bleedin' obvious.
aaaaassshhhllllleeeyyy cole is a w@nker is a w@nker!
steven gerrards favourite - eeeerrrmm.
most often used as a torquay fan - we were robbed.
goals win games - NO! :-o
It's a six-pointer - uh, no its not.
couldnt trap a bag of cement - had a few players that ones used for.
couldnt hit a barn door - and this one.
couldnt hit a cows arse with a banjo - and this one.
havent gelled yet - i get fed up hearing that one.
they're not playing to their full potential - they're shit, thats why.
playing in the hole - =D
You are my torquay, my only torquay, you make me happy when skies are grey, you'll never know, just, how much i love you, so don't take my torquay away.
(laa, laa, - laaaa, - la, la, - laa, laa, - laaaa, - la, la. - la,la,la,la,la, - la,la,la,la....).
(laa, laa, - laaaa, - la, la, - laa, laa, - laaaa, - la, la. - la,la,la,la,la, - la,la,la,la....).
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AustrianAndyGull
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- Favourite player: Kev Nicholson
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chunkygull wrote:when commentators and pundits started using the term stonewall as in "that is/was a stonewall penalty", it was found out that stonewall is a word that does not exist. the only form it actually exists in is that its the name of a charity organisation that works for equality and justice for lesbians, gay men and bisexuals.
did you know that alan hansen?
the latest one that gets on my nerves is "worldy" as in he's hit a "worldy" or the keepers pulled out a "worldy".
have you ever heard brendan rodgers try and say it. =D
dont like the terms - holding midfielder/defensive midfielder. in fact i hate that.
or, his jobs to protect the back four - load of b0ll0cks
sick as a parrot - never seen a parrot spew up.
over the moon - really!
game of 2 halves - well, yes! bleedin' obvious.
aaaaassshhhllllleeeyyy cole is a w@nker is a w@nker!
steven gerrards favourite - eeeerrrmm.
most often used as a torquay fan - we were robbed.
goals win games - NO! :-o
It's a six-pointer - uh, no its not.
couldnt trap a bag of cement - had a few players that ones used for.
couldnt hit a barn door - and this one.
couldnt hit a cows arse with a banjo - and this one.
havent gelled yet - i get fed up hearing that one.
they're not playing to their full potential - they're sh*t, thats why.
playing in the hole - =D
Absolutely just wet myself with this one chunks!
Don't know why but it touched a funny nerve AND some of the others ! Classic!
Strangely enough it was Pope Gregory the 9th inviting me for drinks aboard his steam yacht, the saucy sue currently wintering in montego bay with the England cricket team and the Balanese Goddess of plenty.
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ferrarilover
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Hat-trick comes from Cricket. If a bowler took three wickets in consecutive balls, it was customary for him to pass around a top hat, so members of the crowd could show their appreciation by making small monetary contributions. Hence 'hat-trick'.
Matt.
Matt.
J5 said, "ferrarilover is 100% correct"
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chunkygull
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- Favourite player: david graham
- Location: paignton
come to think of it, what the hell does stick it in the onion bag mean?
i used to like andy gray's "take bow son", "aw,he had no right to do that"!, "that wasn't great, that wasn't brilliant, that was magnificent"! - shame he was a t0$$er other than that.
nutmegged - what does putting the ball through someones legs have to do with a spice.
ticka tacka football - f*ck off, its just the basics of football you are taught as a kid. pass on the floor to your team-mate. (A K take note).
swashbuckling fullback - does he carry a sword on the pitch.
trying to walk the ball in - not going to throw it in are they.
early doors -
parked the bus - i think the ref would stop the game and have it removed if this happened. mind you with the parking services in torbay it would get a ticket or get clamped.
We set our stall out - i know if most of them werent footballers they would probably be dodgy market traders or something, but really.
Potential banana skin. - we know all about those.
"he's not that kind of player" - no, but as a person in general, he's probably a c**t! :devil:
"he will be disappointed to be pulled off by the manager".-
"He has a good engine " - runs about a lot with not much end product.
"Route 1 " - if you mean long ball, say long ball.
"he hit that too well" - well obviously not because he didnt bloody score did he.
Beckham territory/beckham like/beckhamesque - oh f*ck off, you would think nobody ever took a decent free kick before. he only scored 1 out of every 250 attempts (mind you some were awesome).
"The dreaded vote of confidence" - "hello martin, its thea"
they are the better team on paper - well the game isnt played on paper is it mark lawrenson.
Square ball. - uh, its round.
"go on my son" - just asking to go on jeremy kyle for a dna test that one.
"We weren't at the races today" - no, you were supposed to be playing bloody football, which you clearly werent, properly!
All we want from referees is consistency. - it would help if you didnt all moan, whinge, complain, dive, roll around, con him, or just generally bloody cheat!
"There's contact there, he's entitled to go down..." - ex centre forward pundits trying to justify blatant f**king cheating.
my granny couldv'e scored that - shouted at billy a lot last season.
'Journeyman' - he's either sh1t or well past it.
This game needs a goal. - no, we paid £20 to watch a boring load of $h1t. :}
Turns on a sixpence.- me in my youth, honest.
this would be a good time to score - well any time actually.
The Table doesn't lie - tell that one to brucie when w'ere promoted.
"Anywhere else on the pitch, that would have been given". - the ref didnt have the balls to give a pen, especially to torquay.
"These things even themselves up over a season" - not if you support bloody torquay they dont.
he came inside the defender - :-o =D
i used to like andy gray's "take bow son", "aw,he had no right to do that"!, "that wasn't great, that wasn't brilliant, that was magnificent"! - shame he was a t0$$er other than that.
nutmegged - what does putting the ball through someones legs have to do with a spice.
ticka tacka football - f*ck off, its just the basics of football you are taught as a kid. pass on the floor to your team-mate. (A K take note).
swashbuckling fullback - does he carry a sword on the pitch.
trying to walk the ball in - not going to throw it in are they.
early doors -
parked the bus - i think the ref would stop the game and have it removed if this happened. mind you with the parking services in torbay it would get a ticket or get clamped.
We set our stall out - i know if most of them werent footballers they would probably be dodgy market traders or something, but really.
Potential banana skin. - we know all about those.
"he's not that kind of player" - no, but as a person in general, he's probably a c**t! :devil:
"he will be disappointed to be pulled off by the manager".-
"He has a good engine " - runs about a lot with not much end product.
"Route 1 " - if you mean long ball, say long ball.
"he hit that too well" - well obviously not because he didnt bloody score did he.
Beckham territory/beckham like/beckhamesque - oh f*ck off, you would think nobody ever took a decent free kick before. he only scored 1 out of every 250 attempts (mind you some were awesome).
"The dreaded vote of confidence" - "hello martin, its thea"
they are the better team on paper - well the game isnt played on paper is it mark lawrenson.
Square ball. - uh, its round.
"go on my son" - just asking to go on jeremy kyle for a dna test that one.
"We weren't at the races today" - no, you were supposed to be playing bloody football, which you clearly werent, properly!
All we want from referees is consistency. - it would help if you didnt all moan, whinge, complain, dive, roll around, con him, or just generally bloody cheat!
"There's contact there, he's entitled to go down..." - ex centre forward pundits trying to justify blatant f**king cheating.
my granny couldv'e scored that - shouted at billy a lot last season.
'Journeyman' - he's either sh1t or well past it.
This game needs a goal. - no, we paid £20 to watch a boring load of $h1t. :}
Turns on a sixpence.- me in my youth, honest.
this would be a good time to score - well any time actually.
The Table doesn't lie - tell that one to brucie when w'ere promoted.
"Anywhere else on the pitch, that would have been given". - the ref didnt have the balls to give a pen, especially to torquay.
"These things even themselves up over a season" - not if you support bloody torquay they dont.
he came inside the defender - :-o =D
Last edited by chunkygull on 27 Aug 2013, 18:03, edited 2 times in total.
You are my torquay, my only torquay, you make me happy when skies are grey, you'll never know, just, how much i love you, so don't take my torquay away.
(laa, laa, - laaaa, - la, la, - laa, laa, - laaaa, - la, la. - la,la,la,la,la, - la,la,la,la....).
(laa, laa, - laaaa, - la, la, - laa, laa, - laaaa, - la, la. - la,la,la,la,la, - la,la,la,la....).
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AustrianAndyGull
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MAGICAL STUFF!
Absolutely p*ssing myself here, the last one topped it off!
Strangely enough it was Pope Gregory the 9th inviting me for drinks aboard his steam yacht, the saucy sue currently wintering in montego bay with the England cricket team and the Balanese Goddess of plenty.
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Gullscorer
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Get rid of the referee's assistant. Let's have a lineswoman...
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SuperNickyWroe
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"lollipops" - ron atkinson classic, just say step-over you perma-tanned freak.
"they are all over them" - what is it? football or an orgy???
"utility player" - sh*t in every position.
"we murdered them" - surely that serial killing is a serious offence resulting in a long prison sentence?
"dont know how we lost that" - what? are you really simple? cant you count?
"play it out from the back" - our midfield is sh*t and hasnt got a scooby-doo how to pass.
"send him" - where to? coventry?
"he couldnt take the ball off my wife" - im not suprised - have you seen the state of her? she'd chin him.
"in all honesty" - fave with danny wilson when barnsley were in the premier league. means " we are sh*t and are going to be relegated before xmas."
"midfield enforcer" - who is luke skywalker? the terminator?
"clogger" - cant pass, dribble, head or shoot. but can kick f**k out of the oppositions star player efficiently.
and, finally, my fave "leveller" - said by managers - get out there and give that smart ars*d clever tw*t (beckham) a leveller - let him know whos the boss out there! in fact give him two!
"they are all over them" - what is it? football or an orgy???
"utility player" - sh*t in every position.
"we murdered them" - surely that serial killing is a serious offence resulting in a long prison sentence?
"dont know how we lost that" - what? are you really simple? cant you count?
"play it out from the back" - our midfield is sh*t and hasnt got a scooby-doo how to pass.
"send him" - where to? coventry?
"he couldnt take the ball off my wife" - im not suprised - have you seen the state of her? she'd chin him.
"in all honesty" - fave with danny wilson when barnsley were in the premier league. means " we are sh*t and are going to be relegated before xmas."
"midfield enforcer" - who is luke skywalker? the terminator?
"clogger" - cant pass, dribble, head or shoot. but can kick f**k out of the oppositions star player efficiently.
and, finally, my fave "leveller" - said by managers - get out there and give that smart ars*d clever tw*t (beckham) a leveller - let him know whos the boss out there! in fact give him two!
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Gullscorer
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SuperNickyWroe
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Gullscorer wrote:'It was a fair foul..'
followed by.....
"he'll take a card for that......" - what is it? Xmas? his birthday?
Member of the Yorkshire Gulls Supporters Club - Sponsors of Lirak Hasani, 2024-2025
Driving South to all games!
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chunkygull
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- Favourite player: david graham
- Location: paignton
found this on youtube and it made me think of this thread. it is quite old and dated now ( a few of the characters are no longer with us), but it really reminded me of saturday lunchtimes in my youth watching saint and greavsie. spitting image did some brilliant parody and p!$$take songs before the programme got far too political.
the first few minutes its really funny but then it gets on your nerves but give it a go -
[youtube]Bl6eI8dxnxU[/youtube]
the first few minutes its really funny but then it gets on your nerves but give it a go -
[youtube]Bl6eI8dxnxU[/youtube]
You are my torquay, my only torquay, you make me happy when skies are grey, you'll never know, just, how much i love you, so don't take my torquay away.
(laa, laa, - laaaa, - la, la, - laa, laa, - laaaa, - la, la. - la,la,la,la,la, - la,la,la,la....).
(laa, laa, - laaaa, - la, la, - laa, laa, - laaaa, - la, la. - la,la,la,la,la, - la,la,la,la....).
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Gullscorer
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The hand of God... :slap: :na: 
:rules: o:)
:rules: o:)-
chunkygull
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- Location: paignton
he drew the foul - more bull$h1t from ex centre forward pundits trying to justify a player dropping to the floor and rolling around like he's been shot when he was barely touched, or he made sure he was touched.
You are my torquay, my only torquay, you make me happy when skies are grey, you'll never know, just, how much i love you, so don't take my torquay away.
(laa, laa, - laaaa, - la, la, - laa, laa, - laaaa, - la, la. - la,la,la,la,la, - la,la,la,la....).
(laa, laa, - laaaa, - la, la, - laa, laa, - laaaa, - la, la. - la,la,la,la,la, - la,la,la,la....).
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