Ok Andy. Let's put your mind at rest. I am a now a confirmed expert on this as i have had several. Both ends. In fact I am sure that if they wanted to they could have shoved it far enough to go in one end and come out the other.
The first thing to set you at rest is.
if your really worried enough about it. You can ask for sedation and it would need you to be in well before the procedure and then be taken home as you have a mild anesthesia or sedative. It will make you sleepy and to all intents and purposes you are asleep and remember nothing. But in fact you are not quite, and are somewhat responsive to their questions. I have had 5 with sedative and never remembered any of them.
If you do not have a sedative then you will have a spray down your throat if it's that end. That is your choice depending on how you feel about it. if you have a bad gag reflex then i would recommend a sedative. If not it's a darned sight quicker.
If you have one up the other end by Dynarod then a sedative is recommended anyway by me. It's ok until they reach the first bend and then it's quite uncomfortable.
There are a number of things that they do to ave a looksy.
A sigmoidoscopy is a looksy up the rear end but only for a short disance up the sigmoid colon until they reach the start of the lower bowel.
if they need to look further then it's
A colonoscopy This goes right beyond and all the way up until they reach the start of the small bowel in my case. I think it's about 5 miles. well it seemed like it. It could have been 39 miles for all the good it did.
Now the one of the most painful parts of both these rear end procedures is the air they pump up to make the colon larger so they can see clearly. It certainly made me see clearly on the first one. and it's live on telly in vivid colour if you want to watch it. That's if your really twisted.
If going down the gob it's an Endoscopy or Gastronomy. (no not the pop group, that's Metronomy) and not the biblical Deuteronomy. it's
Most definitely Endoscopy or Gastronomy is it's often known. Twice done to me. Quite often use to look at the walls of the stomach and looking for anything wrong with the lining or for a Hernia or if you live up yer like we duz A Hernial.
It's not done by Doctors now most of the time. you will only have an anesthetist if going to have a sedative.It's mostly nurses. Although they are sepecialy trained for this. It's painless and you have sweet dreams. (i am only joking here. I don't really know. I was asleep at the time).
If it's just a spray then you will be able to go home straight away. You may even be lucky to be offered a nice cup of tea when they are finished.
There is a part of the colon they cannot reach. if that's the case then they can ask you to swallow something that looks like a large pill. It's in actual fact a tiny camera. It will take holiday snaps of the bit in the middle they cannot see and you can then show it to Aunty Bertha and Mildred when you come to show off your holiday snaps. they won't know the difference and you can say you went through the channel tunnel.
You only need to get worried if the nurse turns up with a dirty great needle and says bend over. If that's the case run like ell. She has the wrong ward let along the wrong patient. Or a guy turns up and says bend over without a needle. in which case ask if he is a nurse as I would be very mistrustful if having a gastronomy.
Hope that puts your mind at rest. Or worries you even more if you have a broken arm.
