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I do not know any Indian people so in future when answering the phone if I am greeted by an Indian sounding fellow I shall just hang up.
The warranty on my Sky has run out apparently, I already knew this but we have the box insured so we're all good ta.
There's a problem with my computer. Will I allow them remote access? Will I b*ggery. If there's a problem I will contact the fix it man all by myself.
They always phone when...
Boy has filled his nappy .
Boy needs feeding.
Boy has to go to bed.
Boy has just gone to bed. Wake him and I'll cry.
Girl is being a pain in the rear.
I'm cooking (pie today ).
I want to be left alone. Stop calling me.

OK my holiday was never going to last long but this is a beauty. My fans and followers, for whom I will be eternally grateful on this thread will be well versed with some of my pet hates on here, but I've got an update.
The reason at least one of the roads out of the north of Donny has been reduced to one lane for the last couple of months is----(Berbum---Berbum---Berbum---Berbum---[in the style of all the massively shite TV programs that we currently suffer)THEY ARE INSTALLING MORE FOOKIN TRAFFIC LIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!








(Somebody fookin kill me >:( )

Oh and Masterchef.
What a bunch of pretentious tvv@ts the judges and chefs are on this so called program.
Jiooooo (phonetic spelling). ITS FECKIN GRAVY YOU TVV@TS.
AND WHATS A REDUCTION???? ARE THEY GETTING THE INGREDIENTS AT A SPECIAL RATE?????
AND WHO EATS A 'QUINNELL' OF SQUIRREL LIVERS FFS ?????????

I've just eaten a platter of heat induced locally sourced tubers sliced and sauted in Italian extra virgin olive and served with a liberal sprinking of seasoning on porcelain dinnerware eaten with some of Sheffields finest metallic ware.


I'VE HAD A PLATE OF CHIPS WITH SALT ON YOU PRETENTIOUS TVVATHEADS!!!! :-o :-o :-o :-o :-o

You are all posting too much. I have about 10 minutes before I need to go off to work, have had a reallymuchtoobusy week, went to catch up and there's 100's of well written, interesting posts.

I shall therefore have to sellotape my eyelids open later so that I can read all this weeks news. At least there's only Comic Relief on telly to miss...

Dear Westy,

You should have been our first poster to make the thousand mark on the new board. Being a p*ss artist ( :Oops: ) , it shouldn't be me that says you are spending too much time at the pub these days and not enough time posting on here.

Yours down Wetherspoons,

Trojan 67

Teenage boys. Well, sons, actually. Most of you must have been one at some stage. I just hope you all treat your Mum's beautifully on April 3rd.... (sorry, HRG, it doesn't get any easier!!)

And cars.
Dust.
Dog hairs.
The last 5 minutes to get ready going faster than any other 5 minutes.
Council Tax bills.
Census forms.
Things turning from lightly golden to black in the oven too quickly (the previous 5 minute thing again?)
People nudging me with their elbow when they talk to me (a major grrrrrrr)
Weeds.
Tiramisu.
Shopping trolleys.
Getting a 'sale' email then everything being out of stock.
King Kee not being the League's top goal scorer.

Don't take the hope away Westy
At least he'll be in charge of his own bodily functions by then. Only just though, he is a boy after all.
I hope they make up for whatever grief they've given you with a gift or several of your tipple of choice and a massive box of chocs.

Help me please...

What is the bleedin' point of televised poker?????

I mean, could anything be more useless than watching a bloke with dark glasses and a baseball cap on back to front(like boycott bowling.. :-o .) holding cards ...well.well... 8/

People - we must stop watching this nonsense immediately. :slap: Turn off the TV, read the paper, a book, talk to you wife, kids, dog,cat but ffs do not watch Poker on telly.

I just don't get it!

Rant over

Wisconsin_gull wrote:Help me please...

What is the bleedin' point of televised poker?????

I mean, could anything be more useless than watching a bloke with dark glasses and a baseball cap on back to front(like boycott bowling.. :-o .) holding cards ...well.well... 8/

People - we must stop watching this nonsense immediately. :slap: Turn off the TV, read the paper, a book, talk to you wife, kids, dog,cat but ffs do not watch Poker on telly.

I just don't get it!

Rant over

oh come on mate the poker aint that bad!! =D

and another thing

my fellow posters that have to visit hospital car parks.

i have to due to my job.

so why the rant.....................

well, the car park charges!! £2.50 for 2hrs ba****ds!

and the most annoying thing drivers sat in their cars waiting for someone and taking a f**king space up when

someone who actually needs to go into the f**king hospital cant find a space cos these ar**holes are blocking one!


if this is you then f**k off out of that parking space!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've had my rant tonight on the Northampton matchday thread.

Trojan 67 wrote:I've had my rant tonight on the Northampton matchday thread.

I/we know.

Right!!! First thing, WHY DIDN'T I SEE THIS THREAD BEFORE YOU %^%^&*()^head!!! JEEEZ angry with myself!!
Anyway hear goes then!
Cats - crapping all over my garden, even just outside my back door and even on my shed roof!!! Pass the bazooka please FIRE IN THE HOLD!!!!
F******G reality location, vacation, come dine on ice, strictly come shopping etc!! GOD!!! my missus can't get enough and even tapes them to watch them again. Word fail me
Sneezing cause I do it 1000 times a day, even in my sleep WHY
Dog walkers who cannot/will not control their animals when I am dangling a line either down the river or on the beach - they come racing up and knock you over the the stupid owners think it a jolly weeze!!
Theres loads more but my mind has locked me out!!! Makes you mad when that happens :devil:

Sid Waddell. What is he for? I could talk absolute b ll cks non stop for a couple of hours and (contrary to some of the replies that will almost certainly appear on here DAVE!) there would be a small chance what I had said would be understood-without subtitles! UNDA-STACKA OVA-STACKA LIPSTICK GREEN BIT what TF is he on about???????? :slap:

Actually Sky has a profencity for employing complete buffoons to cover its sport-Stevo (Rugby League) possibly being the worst, Merson, Wright, Gray et al (footy), but the lovable buffoonery of Bumble on the cricket is the exception as he actually knows what is going on on the pitch.

More traffic lights I'm afraid.
The M18-A1M junction just south of Doncaster has been in tatters for a number of months. Initially it was all looking good , as the authorities have put in slip lanes so if you are coming off the M18 eastbound onto the A1M north you have a lane that avoids the roundabout and speeds up the traffic . Same from the A1M (S) to the M18(E). Much smaller queues on the slip roads . Makes sense .
What doesn't make sense is THE FECKIN' TRAFFIC LIGHTS THEY ARE NOW INSTALLING ON THE ROUNDABOUT, A JUNCTION WHICH IS RELATIVELY QUIET MOST OF THE TIME YOU FECKIN' KNOOB ENDS!!!!! RED LIGHTS =TRAFFIC STANDING WHEN ITS SAFE TO GO AND THERE IS NOTHING ON THE ROUNDABOUT=LONGER QUEUES AT PEAK TIMES YOU MORONS!!!!!! :slap:








(Makes me mad tha' knows)