FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

[chunkygull]

tonight my fellow forum readers i am going to introduce you to the genius of youtube icon ray william johnson... ..if you havent seen his stuff already.

this guy hosts his own show on youtube called equals 3, the show is quite short but its a really funny look at the world in a russell howards good news kind of way, but funnier. i watch this show a lot, its usually only about 5 minutes and lately it has been shorter but more frequent. i have to tell you its so funny i nearly wet myself, one minute its , then its like :-o .

sometimes ray has famous or well known guests on the show also, and a few behave in a way you wouldnt expect.
equals three gets millions of hits weekly and has achieved more than 2 billion in total.

heres a couple of episodes i chose at random (they wont embed for some reason) -





ray william johnson is also a prominent part of a youtube sensation music group called Your Favorite martian. they do parodies of various songs as well as their own stuff in various genres, mostly funny lyrics but also some with a serious undertone. they did hold all sorts of youtube hit and subscription records for their music channel at one time but due to a dispute over funding and creativity with their studios whilst making an album, they are taking a long break and havent done anything new for a while.

the songs are brilliantly clever, songs like "club villain" (love it, so clever) and "please can i whup yo kids" (listen to the words =D ), you may not like the whole the whole music video thing etc but you have to watch the videos with some of these songs because it does enhance your enjoyment, they make the funny stuff even funnier.

enjoy- :~D

[youtube]sB2BKdgSW4U[/youtube]
[youtube]TUmJDVRDRTQ[/youtube]

[Gullscorer]

After much study and thought I have come to the conclusion that re-incarnation is a reality. I shall therefore be changing my will at the earliest opportunity, to bequeath everything to myself..

[Gullscorer]

Bruce Willis talking to himself:

[chunkygull]

blimey, he looks well weird with hair.

i remember they used to show this sort of thing on itv at 11pm onwards, i used to try and stay up late on school nights and watch them. alfred hitchcock presents was another show. there were quite a few semi-famous or before they were famous stars that sppeared on these type of programmes.

i remember also the old black and white twilight zones, they used to show that on channel 4, scared the crap out of me sometimes.

tales from the crypt was the best series, the cryptkeeper who introduced the episodes at the beginning was hilarious, ive got a couple of figures of him in my den.

[youtube]m-e8ATuFpIc[/youtube]

[Gullscorer]

A Sunday League Jewish football team is desperate for players. So desperate in fact that one Sunday they are forced to play a kosher chicken in their team.
Rather surprisingly, the chicken has a brilliant first half. One minute it's clearing off its own line, the next its threading the perfect through ball, the next putting in a perfect cross.
At half time all its team-mates are very pleased and everyone runs back onto the pitch for the second half. On the way back, the referee starts chatting with the chicken.
"Great first half mate, you must be really fit".
"Thanks," said the chicken, "I try to keep myself fit but its difficult finding the time so I try to do an hour in the gym each morning before work".
"What do you do then?" asked the referee.
"I'm a chartered accountant" replies the chicken. At which point the referee immediately brandishes the red card and sends the chicken off. The concerned team-mates gather round the ref. and start complaining.
"Sorry lads", says the ref.,...... "I had no choice - Professional Fowl"

[Gullscorer]

Here is why God gave the Jews the Ten Commandments. God first went to the Egyptians and asked them if they would like a commandment.
"What's a commandment?" they asked.
"Well, it's like, THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY," replied God.
The Egyptians thought about it and then said, "No way. That would ruin our weekends."
So then God went to the Syrians and asked them if they would like a commandment.
They also asked, "What's a commandment?"
"Well," said God, "it's like, THOU SHALT NOT STEAL."
The Syrians immediately replied, "No way. That would ruin our economy."
So finally God went to the Jews and asked them if they wanted a commandment. They asked, "How much?"
God said, "They're free."
The Jews said, "OK. We'll take ten!"

[Gullscorer]

The night before their wedding, Alf and Bette were sharing confidences.
Alf said, “You must know something before we get married. I am a fanatic golfer. I eat, sleep and drink golf. Golf is my whole life. After we are married, I’ll try for some balance but I doubt whether I’ll succeed. Just understand - you’re marrying a golf addict.”
“I can live with that,” said Bette, “now I’ll tell you my secret - I’m a hooker.”
“A hooker?” Alf repeated. “I can live with that. Next time, keep your head down and your left arm straight, then swing through the ball....”

[Gullscorer]

Maurice was showing off his new hearing aid. He said to his friend Sam, "I bought a hearing aid yesterday. It cost me £2,000.
Sam said, "That’s expensive, isn’t it? "
Maurice replied, "Yes, but it is state of the art."
"What kind is it?" Sam asked.
"A quarter to twelve," said Maurice.

[chunkygull]

i saw a little mention of this in the top 5 films thread and it filled my heart with joy. it is one of my most favorite things to be found on the internet, its almost up there with 1980's vintage porn. i have watched this god knows how many times and i still laugh my ass off, i dont know if its already on this thread but sit back, relax and enjoy the genius of the youtube phenomenon that is SNATCH WARS.

[youtube]vskHXtPuvBk[/youtube]

type snatch wars on youtube and there are a few extra scenes, deleted scenes and alternative stuff, there are other attempts also at matching darth vader scenes with other voices, theres even a kenneth williams one. brilliant

[Gullscorer]

We obviously don't have the same sense of humour. I thought that was unfunny, stupid, and juvenile, as are the Star Wars films themselves, which is probably why they've been so successful. :-|

Laurel and Hardy are funny (and stupid, and juvenile).. =D

[chunkygull]

if you think my humour was juvenile and stupid with that one, wait til ya get a load o' this.

now, normally i wouldnt let anybody get away with taking the p1$$ out of freddie mercury , i get the right hump about it (unless its really funny) and i do like and have a hell of a lot of respect for frank sinatra, but this is brilliant and i laughed my posterior off.

[youtube]K5a_v0MP_Fk[/youtube]

[Gullscorer]

Sorry. Boring. Didn't raise one titter. This is better:

[chunkygull]

yep, brilliant, now we agree on one. i do love the two ronnies.

their solo stuff was good too, ronnie barker was great in porridge, open all hours and clarence.

ronnie corbett was good in sorry and the cameo stuff he has done has been pretty good, fair play to him for allowing the bit in peter kays amarillo video to stay in, and he was brilliant in an episode of extras.

[chunkygull]

just thought i would share another little gem from the weird and wonderful world of the phenomenon that is youtube. indeed this is yet another hugely popular youtube sensation.

if you get the whole gruff voice "i'm batman" joke then you will find it funny, its just so theres so many moments he made quite surreal and used for the joke i couldnt stop laughing, i had terrible stomach ache after, but luckily not in an austrianandygull, I.B.S kind of way.

his kids just answer him so matter of fact and quite normally, which was hilarious, and you can tell he sneaks up to the wife and really makes her jump, he frightens her and p1$$e$ her off, but she is trying hard not to laugh.

ladies and gentlemen of torquay fans.com, i give you... BATDAD!!!

[youtube]xShg52s1ZJk[/youtube]



and yes gullscorer, it probably is stupid, unfunny and juvenile - so its right up my street. :na:

[Gullscorer]

Hmm. That was batty.. How about this:

Cyril gets a new job at Rothschilds Bank and immediately gets on well with his fellow investment bankers. So much so that a group of them who meet for a round of golf every Sunday ask Cyril whether he’d like to join them this Sunday at 10am.
"I’d love to," replies Cyril, "thanks for asking. But I might be 6 minutes late."
"No problem," they reply.
Cyril turns up on Sunday exactly at 10am, golfs right-handed and posts the lowest score. They congratulate him and invite him to join them again next Sunday.
"I’ll be there," Cyril says, "but I might be 6 minutes late."
The following Sunday, Cyril turns up exactly at 10am, golfs left-handed and posts the lowest score. They again congratulate him.
This continues for a number of Sundays, with Cyril always saying that he might be 6 minutes late, and always posting the lowest score, whether he golfs left or right handed.
One Sunday, in the bar after their round of golf, his colleagues ask, "Cyril, we hope you don’t mind us asking, but every Sunday you tell us that you might be 6 minutes late, but you never are. And then, whether you play left or right-handed, you still post the lowest score. What’s it all about?"
"It’s no great deal," replies Cyril, "I’m very superstitious. Every Sunday, when I awake, I look over at my beautiful wife Freda. If she’s sleeping on her left side, I golf left handed and if she’s sleeping on her right side, I golf right handed."
"But what if your Freda is sleeping on her back?" they ask.
Cyril replies, "Then I’m going to be 6 minutes late."