Whinge, Moan, Rant And Anything Else Put It Here ...

[AustrianAndyGull]

British motorway designers. I thought about this on the way home today as my head was being filled with vacuous inanity on talksport so I decided to look at stuff around me. The road would have been a good bloody start!!

It dawned on me that whoever designed our motorways did so by putting the 'fast' lane on one carriageway bang next door to the 'fast' lane on the opposite carriageway. Unlike in most of Europe where the 'fast' lane is on the outside lane next to the fields and stuff and therefore on the opposite side it is right over the far side of the carriageway. So we have two lanes next to each other where cars are doing 80, 90, 100 + MPH and so if one crashes it not only can impact on the other side of the road but also the car could career away all over the place. In Europe where the roads are designed differently, a high speed loss of vehicle control would maybe lead to the car in question leaving the road and therefore causing no follow on carnage to other road users.

If any of you can see any benefits to our design over Europe then please let me know.

[Southampton Gull]

It's not the road at fault, it's drivers not doing 150 in the fast lane that cause all the accidents

[cambgull]

Great idea Andy, until you have to filter into a lane full of people doing 80-90mph. It would be an accident guaranteed to happen.

[chunkygull]

dishonest pr1cks on ebay.

i bought my lad a doctor who series 6 boxset on ebay, saved a few quid on the new price. the listing said like new.

first i opened a case because it hadnt arrived after 10 days. it then turned up 2 days later.

i was already p!ssed off at the amount of time it took but then when i took it out of the crappy envelope it was posted in (£3 for postage) the disc holder and discs is all i got . the actual box to the boxset is missing, no booklet which should be with it either. "like new, like f**king new". i got so mad i kicked our kitchen table and to make it worse hurt my b@st@rd toe.

i have now had to open another case against the same tw'@t, it might sound petty but when you buy something like that the box is important, especially that my son likes to collect such things and all the rest of his boxsets he has kept pristine, pretty good for an 11 year old.

ebay are very good in disputes and pay your refund if things cannot be resolved, but that is beside the point, the t0$$er$ that rip you off deter people from buying on there again.

i wish bad luck, poverty, hayfever, a stubbed toe, a losing football team, high council tax, baldness, wasps, insane itching after a shower, migraine, a heavy cold and various venereal diseases upon them.

i dont bloody well believe it! its happened again! i bought a merlin complete series 3 boxset, and it wasnt as listed or pictured, it was 2 separate volumes, both in very good condition, but when you are collecting things like that you want it to be as its supposed to be. if i keep it with the rest of the series it would be totally different because they are all complete in boxes, this ones 2 smaller separate ones.

i thought b0ll0cks to this and opened a case right away. the seller has been co-operative and owned up to their mistake and offered a refund on return, but they are expecting me to pay postage. that is not bloody fair, why should i have to pay it as the problem is not my fault. she should have checked and laid out her listing properly.

on top of the postage, what about the time and petrol it will cost and the inconvenience to go to the poxy post office to send back the parcel. they should at least pay the bloody postage.

so if she wont pay the postage, again, - i wish bad luck, poverty, hayfever, a stubbed toe, a losing football team, high council tax, baldness, a wasp infestation, insane itching in a hot car or after a shower, migraine, a heavy cold and various venereal diseases upon them.

the other scrotes with the doctor who boxset left it to the last possible minute to reply and offer a refund before i would have got an instant refund from ebay. i refused to take their offer because they expected me to pay return postage. within 1 minute ebay responded, awarded the case in my favour and i had a full refund in my paypal account.

this proves i am right and justified.

this also means ive been able to keep the item, which i will try and trade in at cex or something. :~D

[AustrianAndyGull]

2013 and some food tins STILL need a tin opener for you get at the contents. Unbelievable.

[Gullscorer]

2013 and some food tins STILL need a tin opener for you get at the contents. Unbelievable.

I prefer using tin openers to those cans with little rings/handles which are supposed to enable you to pull the top of the can off, but which simply come away from the can as soon as you pull on them, forcing you to look for a tin opener anyway.

The old-fashioned methods are usually the best. Except for those corks in bottles which either refuse to be pulled out, or which crumble to pieces before you can pull them out.

[EmetEdadsBeard]

If you can afford to smoke, drink, have tats, gamble and/or drive a car and are claiming benefits YOU ARE GETTING TOO MUCH OF MY TAX YOU SCROUNGING, FECKLESS TWATHEAD!

(Rant caused on one of Mrs Beards nieces, all of the above plus a single mother with child's dad, also on the fookin scrounge and not in the picture who lives in a 3 bedroom detached house, has a made up syndrome which means she cant (wont more like) work, Bi polar ffs it was called mood swings when I was a kid, and had the audacity to have a go at me for having a go at benefit claimants!)

[AustrianAndyGull]

The Top 40 music charts. WHY IS EVERY SONG SO F*CKING ANNOYING?!!! It's either some jumped up bird trying to be aggressive and singing about I don't care or a bloke crooning in such a high pitched voice that there is no way in this earth he can be physically male. I have to suffer all this sh*te in the gym most days and there is no feckin respite - IT'S ALL BOLL*CKS AND ANNOYING. Examples.

Olly Murs - f*ck me, what a tail - please forgive my writing?!! Well you should have gone to f*cking school then shouldn't you?!! If you paid attention in class then maybe now you'd be a famous novelist instead of exposing the world to all this wet inanity!! Soft tw*t and take that bloody hat off - you look a right pillock!

Elle Goulding (Burn) - Listen to this and close your eyes. Then tell me what the difference is between this and a terrible Eurovision entry. It's bloody awful and it's at number 2! God have mercy!

Robin Thicke (Blurred Lines) - This features Pharrell who basically moves around the screen in all the things he does like he's the coolest bloke on the planet when in fact he looks like he's having an allergic reaction to a bag of peanuts! What a bell end. He sings in a voice higher than the Blackpool tower and thinks looking women up and down all the time isn't downright rude and unacceptable. That is the problem with artists like this nowadays, not the degradation of women but they are teaching other young blokes that women are just commodoties to look at, may be take out for a KFC, grope, enter and leave. As someone who has complete and utter respect for women this is not only a worrying trend amongst 'certain' types of noise makers (I won't call them musicians as they don't know what instruments are but so long as they can parade around in dazzling jackets whilst ogling women then they will make money). Oh and this Thicke fella, have you seen him?!! He looks like he works in a casino with that dinner suit thingy on and he's trying to look really cool. Well I'M cool Mr Thicke so look at me, look at me in my Tesco t-shirts and plimsolls from Matalan - I am the epitome of the word and you just want to stand there like some playboy ogling women and spouting meaningless bullsh*t! Do you want to be a singer or a modern day full time cad because at the minute you are neither - just another 4 minutes of gripping torture in the gym. Not only do I have to LISTEN to your crap but I have to WATCH it too as it's on screen!

Naughty Boy (La La La) - f*cking profound song title that one, AND THEY WILL KNOW US FROM THE TRAIL OF DEAD it certainly isn't! This song is painful for the little eskimo boy going 'na na nee nee nee na na' all the friggin' time through the song. P*ss off back to Greenland eskimo child and go and catch some fish or something and stop making ridiculous high pitched noises on pop songs! Christ, is this the new form of instrument now? They can't play instruments so they get infant inuits to emit inaudible sounds to a rhythm and paste it into a song. OMFG!!

Icona Pop (I love it!) - I GOT THIS FEELING ON A SUMMERS DAY WHEN YOU WERE GONE, I CRASHED MY CAR INTO THE BRIDGE I WATCHED I LET IT BURN, I THREW YOUR SHIT INTO A BAG AND PUSHED IT DOWN THE STAIRS, I CRASHED MY CAR INTO THE BRIDGE - I DON'T CARE, I LOVE IT, I DON'T CARE , I LOVE IT.

These are the actual lyrics and i'm not f*cking joking. I actually went for a night out on the razz years ago with Kurt Cobain, Layne Staley, Scott Weiland and Maynard James Keenan and afterwards went for a kebab and then back to Scotties place for an impromptu jamming sesh. Then I offered up ICONA POP as my new song idea and BANG!! Cobain pumped his head full of lead, CRASH!! Staley took a massive o/d and knocked over some impressive porcelain before falling to the ground, Weiland began releasing disturbingly sh*t songs after the Stone Temple Pilots 3rd album and Maynard luckily didn't hear me as he was in the bog and so he escaped and the superb music of TOOL was totally unaffected thank GOD!!!!!!!

Just have a look at those lyrics. LOOK AT THEM!!!

Justin Timberlake, Daft Punk with that tosser Pharrell again. I'd rather have Craig Farrell the ex Grecian and Minstermen striker singing 'if you go down to the woods today' in opera style. In short, although this post isn't - chart music makes me lose my soul, it drains my faith in humanity and if it is to be played in waiting rooms, gyms, or any public place then the places playing them should be fined for exposing people to filth and talentless fannies.

[AustrianAndyGull]

I'm getting an MP3 player first thing because I can't go through one more day of this relentless dirge at the gym again.

[AustrianAndyGull]

and whilst we're on the subject, music videos.

It's music. It is meant to be listened to and not watched.

I hate it when people ask me if I've seen the new Korn video or something else especially when my reply is always the same. "No, I've got the song though".

[Gullscorer]

If you can afford to smoke, drink, have tats, gamble and/or drive a car and are claiming benefits YOU ARE GETTING TOO MUCH OF MY TAX YOU SCROUNGING, FECKLESS TWATHEAD!
(Rant caused on one of Mrs Beards nieces, all of the above plus a single mother with child's dad, also on the fookin scrounge and not in the picture who lives in a 3 bedroom detached house, has a made up syndrome which means she cant (wont more like) work, Bi polar ffs it was called mood swings when I was a kid, and had the audacity to have a go at me for having a go at benefit claimants!)

Such people are probably also running a business self-employed or working on the side. I would advise you to shop the bitch
(https://www.gov.uk/report-benefit-fraud), but being a single mother she'll probably be fully supported by the feminist state and social workers as being 'vulnerable' and it's always somebody else's fault. So be prepared to pay even more tax in the future..

[chunkygull]

the f**kin' b@stard yanks, why do they have to take any decent british comedy and do their own 2nd rate poxy version of it. i just watched their version of the inbetweeners on mtv and they have made a right f***in' mess of it. :no:

it just doesnt translate, what the hell is wrong with them.

ours was brilliantly written and performed, absolutely hysterical at times, although very crude and they just shat on its soul.

why cant they just leave stuff alone and come up with their own bloody comedies.

yanks, leave our comedies alone, w'ell keep doing the stuff we do well, you do what you do well, like the early series of big bang theory or friends or entourage.

bloody yanks, they're not bus w@nkers, they're just w@nkers. :slap:

[EmetEdadsBeard]

the f**kin' b@stard yanks, why do they have to take any decent british comedy and do their own 2nd rate poxy version of it. i just watched their version of the inbetweeners on mtv and they have made a right f***in' mess of it. :no:

it just doesnt translate, what the hell is wrong with them.

ours was brilliantly written and performed, absolutely hysterical at times, although very crude and they just shat on its soul.

why cant they just leave stuff alone and come up with their own bloody comedies.

yanks, leave our comedies alone, w'ell keep doing the stuff we do well, you do what you do well, like the early series of big bang theory or friends or entourage.

bloody yanks, they're not bus w@nkers, they're just w@nkers. :slap:

You lost the argument when you said 'Friends' in a thread about comedy.
I've seen funnier road accidents, it's dire. I've been party to two episodes 'The one that isn't funny' and 'The one with no laughs (other than canned) in it'

[ferrarilover]

Dear morons...

Overtaking, in the right circumstances (ie, the circumstances under which I do it) is perfectly safe and legal. If you are doing 40 in an empty NSL zone and I see a gap, I WILL overtake you. Do not flash your lights or honk your horn. You are clearly at the very limit of your ability doing 66% of the (usually catastrophically low) speed limit, the last thing you need is to distract yourself with operating the minor controls.

I don't give a **** if you don't want to be overtaken because you think that 40 is plenty fast enough. You are a moron and you are wrong. If you are one of the idiots who thinks either than the white circle with the black line through it means 40mph or that overtaking is findamentally dangerous or illegal, please send your driving license to the following address:

I'm a **** ing danger to myself and others,
DVLA Swansea,
Swansea,
Wales.

This address can also be used for people who leave their main beam on, despite everyone else flashing, honking and generally making a fuss to make you realise that you're stupider than a **** ing aborted foetus.

Matt.

[cambgull]

Don't forget people who don't indicate, or are totally oblivious to leaving their indicator on.

I was also once driving to work on the road between Buckfastleigh and Totnes. It was a Sunday morning with a massive long queue of traffic stuck behind what I saw was a tractor. Not until I got to a straight bit of road did I see a car IN FRONT of the tractor, driving at 22mph in a 60mph zone. They really shouldn't be allowed near a car.