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If you team are struggling and have a few critical injuries, here's a few tips...

1) If rain is forecast , don't bother trying to cover the pitch so it is the only game in the country waterlogged.

2) With the game postponed, ensure players have time to recover.

3) Reorganise it quickly on a weekday evening to maximise the inconvenience to travelling fans (they can't afford/take time off work to come down twice in 4 days).

4) to further limit fan numbers , stop ticket sales and close the away supporters stand

Do one.

you've got us bang to rights.

DodgyGulls wrote:If you team are struggling and have a few critical injuries, here's a few tips...

1) If rain is forecast , don't bother trying to cover the pitch so it is the only game in the country waterlogged.

2) With the game postponed, ensure players have time to recover.

3) Reorganise it quickly on a weekday evening to maximise the inconvenience to travelling fans (they can't afford/take time off work to come down twice in 4 days).

4) to further limit fan numbers , stop ticket sales and close the away supporters stand

Not bitter then?

Maybe you should complain to the FA....

survival of the fittest....erm pardon the pun...

Barnet lose a game?!

It MUST be a conspiracy. And there have been a f*cking lot of them this season!

DodgyGulls wrote:If you team are struggling and have a few critical injuries, here's a few tips...

1) If rain is forecast , don't bother trying to cover the pitch so it is the only game in the country waterlogged.

2) With the game postponed, ensure players have time to recover.

3) Reorganise it quickly on a weekday evening to maximise the inconvenience to travelling fans (they can't afford/take time off work to come down twice in 4 days).

4) to further limit fan numbers , stop ticket sales and close the away supporters stand

dry yer eyes cock.

dry yer eyes!

DodgyGulls wrote:If you team are struggling and have a few critical injuries

We had one guy out, you're Barnet, not Barcelona, we really aren't that bothered by your front line.

1) If rain is forecast , don't bother trying to cover the pitch so it is the only game in the country waterlogged. [/quote]

Excellent, I'll be checking the forecast. If rain is forecast any time before Saturday, I'm going to call Barnet FC. If they can't prove to me that the whole pitch is covered, I'm going to report the club to the FA.

DodgyGulls wrote: 2) With the game postponed, ensure players have time to recover.

You can't say this and then say...

DodgyGulls wrote: 3) Reorganise it quickly on a weekday evening to maximise the inconvenience to travelling fans (they can't afford/take time off work to come down twice in 4 days).

Either we halted the game in order to ensure our keeper would be fit for the game against the mighty Bees front line ( :} ) or we rearranged it for very soon after the original date to inconvenience your fans. Which was it?

DodgyGulls wrote: 4) to further limit fan numbers , stop ticket sales and close the away supporters stand

We have closed the away end because your pathetic, non-league club haven't got anything like enough fans to make it worth our while opening the away end. It was pay on the day, just like for everyone else. It was hardly likely that any of your mugs would be locked out for a lack of space.

Now, some tips for Barnet for staying in the League.

Score some goals which aren't 5 yards offside. You won't get blind linesmen every week.

Stop that filthy Dutchman leaping about like Tom Daley every time an opponent gets within 100 yards of him.

Stop the aforementioned Jonny Foreigner yacking at the referee all game and maybe get him to play some football instead.

Get your supporters to make some noise to support the team. I can only reasonably presume that the half a dozen who were there tonight were the local branch of the British Mute Society.

Have fun in the Conference next year, give our regards to Braintree...

Matt.

DodgyGulls wrote:If you team are struggling and have a few critical injuries, here's a few tips...

1) If rain is forecast , don't bother trying to cover the pitch so it is the only game in the country waterlogged.

2) With the game postponed, ensure players have time to recover.

3) Reorganise it quickly on a weekday evening to maximise the inconvenience to travelling fans (they can't afford/take time off work to come down twice in 4 days).

4) to further limit fan numbers , stop ticket sales and close the away supporters stand

Please get a paper cut and dive into a pool of hepatitis C. Thanks.

divingbboy wrote:
Please get a paper cut and dive into a pool of hepatitis C. Thanks.

Hahaha, I love this, what a wonderfully original unpleasantness to wish upon someone. Consider my cap doffed.

Matt.

DodgyGulls wrote:If you team are struggling and have a few critical injuries, here's a few tips...

1) If rain is forecast , don't bother trying to cover the pitch so it is the only game in the country waterlogged.

2) With the game postponed, ensure players have time to recover.

3) Reorganise it quickly on a weekday evening to maximise the inconvenience to travelling fans (they can't afford/take time off work to come down twice in 4 days).

4) to further limit fan numbers , stop ticket sales and close the away supporters stand

One thing is for certain, your ground looks like a run down council house estate. The only reason your pitch doesn't get waterlogged is because it's on a slope.

Whinging, nonsensical garbage from a Barnet fan who is clearly a congenital idiot. I have rarely seen teams that cheat and connive in the way that Barnet did last night. Davids behaved shamefully, and the stupid referee bought it each time. A goal set up for a grateful Barnet side by a blind linesman, and blatant efforts to get both Rene and Brian Saah sent off, all point to a desperate team bereft of talent and, hopefully, headed for their spiritual home in the Blue Square.

gullintwoplaces wrote:Whinging, nonsensical garbage from a Barnet fan who is clearly a congenital idiot. I have rarely seen teams that cheat and connive in the way that Barnet did last night. Davids behaved shamefully, and the stupid referee bought it each time. A goal set up for a grateful Barnet side by a blind linesman, and blatant efforts to get both Rene and Brian Saah sent off, all point to a desperate team bereft of talent and, hopefully, headed for their spiritual home in the Blue Square.

LIKE

gullintwoplaces wrote:Whinging, nonsensical garbage from a Barnet fan who is clearly a congenital idiot. I have rarely seen teams that cheat and connive in the way that Barnet did last night. Davids behaved shamefully, and the stupid referee bought it each time. A goal set up for a grateful Barnet side by a blind linesman, and blatant efforts to get both Rene and Brian Saah sent off, all point to a desperate team bereft of talent and, hopefully, headed for their spiritual home in the Blue Square.

yes and hopefully the south at best.

and just when you thought it couldn't get any worse........................you live in London.

So unlucky mate and if you happen to have a cockney accent then double whammy!!

Bit of advice, pronounce your 'L' s like in the word HELL, not as in Bloody he - wwwww and also there are no a's in bloody , it's bloody and not bladdy.

Divingbboy, like Matt says, such a funny example of originality of unplesantless only i can dream about replicating in a matchday thread!