Anyone Gluten-free?

[AustrianAndyGull]

Just 'putting this out there' as it were, coincidentally a phrase I've not said since I got my knob out in Walkabout when I was 18. The incumbents of the bar that night certainly lived up to it's name I can tell you! :Oops:

Is anyone gluten intolerant, coeliac or just on a free diet because it makes them feel better? I know many athletes undertake such a diet as it makes them feel less sluggish and so they don't run like Akinfenwa the Duck. Sorry, meant to say waddle but that's another footballer, retired now actually and so obese he's actually put more pounds on now than I do at the bloody bookies!

Anyway, I've given this a try and I feel a million dollars I've got to be honest, I still look like a smacked arse in all honesty but i'm getting the benefits. I can feel the vibe (that's vibe as in groove, I don't have a female pleasure aid shoved inside me somewhere so as not to confuse things ). I lapsed today and seriously felt like i'd been hit by a train AND another one. Then another one, another, then another, a cross channel ferry too, an F1 car, a pan with beans in it, a rake, a stranded dolphin and Audley Harrison, although the latter I couldn't really feel.

I may jest but this is serious, gluten is evil man and our bodies aren't designed to digest it. I was floored today presumably after eating gluten and i'll make sure i'm back on it tomorrow. Is anyone gluten free?

[Scott Brehaut]

I'm gluten, wheat and lactose intolerant and diabetic.

[AustrianAndyGull]

I'm gluten, wheat and lactose intolerant and diabetic.

Bloody hell mate, where's the fun in that?!!!

You also left out Andy intolerant. :~D

I'm joking Scott, apologies. That must be not only a health worry Scott but also a serious inconvenience when it comes to shopping and also lifestyle, like going out for meals and stuff generally? I've not been long on it but I've really struggled getting to grips with it, especially reading labels and everything. I'd offer you my sympathies but i'm guessing your the kind of bloke who would say he doesn't need them and is quite happy with things and that is the way to be I suppose.

So what happens if you eat wheat say?

[Scott Brehaut]

So what happens if you eat wheat say?

Nothing for a few hours, then lots of gurgling in the guts, lots of pain and then, finally, lots of trips to the toilet.
After several trips to the toilet I take my iPod with me and listen to "Ring of fire" - the laughter helps to take away the pain.

Wheat/Gluten are the worst for me - I can cope with a small amount of lactose, but not much - my body certainly lets me know when I am at my limit.
The missus is actually very good at making meals free of the above - makes gluten free pasties, cakes, sausage rolls - even gluten free sausages etc.

I will take your sympathy - it sucks when I go out and end up having a bloody salad because I can't eat anything else on the menu....most places over here don't cater for us weirdos....I notice that there are a lot of places on the mainland that do though.

[AustrianAndyGull]

Why are sausages not gluten free? They're just meat scrapings off the floor aren't they ?

[Scott Brehaut]

No idea, but heck the back of a packet of pork sausages (just me that laughs at the term pork sausage??) and on the back, in the "warnings" it says contains gluten.

Having ignored the warning as an oversight and then suffering a few hours later, I can confirm that they do!!

[ferrarilover]

What's gluten?

Matt.

[Scott Brehaut]

What's gluten?

Matt.

Wheat is a type of grain, and gluten is a protein that is found in wheat, barley, rye, and some other grains. Gluten is the component that gives bread dough its elasticity, and gives bread its chewy texture. Gluten is extracted from grains and used in the manufacturing of many foods.

[ferrarilover]

Being a protein, I guess you (and other intolerants) lack the requisite enzyme to break it down?

Matt.

[AustrianAndyGull]

I'm not sure Matt, all I know is that many people have a sensitivity to it even it it doesn't show up on any tests. The human digestive system isn't designed to digest gluten and so it can linger in the system attacking and affecting cells. The ancient grains like Spelt which have remained untampered with for generations are usually a lot easier for the body to deal with but nowadays manufacturers of everything from breads to gravies chuck in gluten which over the years has just become toxic and altered thus increased incidences of sensitivity.