This man would come unscathed through Armageddon and open up a small retail outlet selling lacquered 'I survived the armageddon' decorative plates and knock them out at £100 a pop to a population of ZERO survivors and still make money!!!
Cheers Alan! Bottoms up!
Maybe not the most appropriate of phrases given for us you ensured it was bottoms down.
ALAN KNILL - DOWN BUT NOT OUT - AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY
I, Alan Knill look back on a season of horror both from a personal and professional perspective and despite managing to help destroy an entire football club entirely on my own I still bounced back and now I'm fronting up the Cobblers survival bid. Well, I say 'fronting up' but what I'm actually doing is meandering up and down the touchline behind No 1 Chris Wilder whilst managing to look like I know what **** day of the week it is and also looking like I want to bum him.
I discuss my torment of signing some absolute buckets of cess like Karl Hawley having thought they had professional dignity and assembling a Torquay side I assumed was 'ready to go' when in fact it was me who was the very same. SHOCK!
Yes, I reveal all (no not that, I know I looked horny in my Olympic sized swimming pool length jogging bottoms but I draw the line at that!) of my turbulent time at TQ1 and how I wished that after the defeat to Scunny I wished that giant squirrels were running amok on the M180 and I was driving a mutha trucker of a HGV en route to Immingham to deliver fish crates and I could squish them to my hearts content.
Those furry fiends had got the better of him and now he has found salvation at Cobblers, a club nicknamed after making shoes out of the fur of pesky rodents which is the irony. Much like the superb Nirvana track, FRANCES FARMER WILL HAVE HER REVENGE ON SEATTLE , Knill has reportedly been recording a similar version ALAN KNILL WILL HAVE HIS REVENGE ON A FURRY SQUIRRELL.
THEY'RE CUTE AND FLUFFY ALAN YOU CRUEL BASTARD!!! HOW COULD YOU?!!! WHAT HARM HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU?!!
I'm calling the RSPCA first thing!!
It seems that Alan is trying allsorts to not actually do what he is paid to do yet still support his family. It's not illegal but in my book it's fraud.
Alan, you're a ****!
